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obi
03-31-2002, 04:21 PM
I have a little story I once wrote as part of my SATS exams.
I would like to share it with you guys-

DARKNESS IN THE LIGHT

A planetary war had sealed the fate of the three-planet system. The planet Gandor had taken no part in it but it was also effected by this destructive war.
Newly created, untested weapons, only known as an elemental missile have been used by the planets Angon and Darkell in their struggle for conquest. The weaker planet, Darkell, had its elemental force mutated, creating monsters and demons only found in nightmares, a planet so engulfed in anger it was almost lost in darkness. Angon was effected; just as badly but in a different way. And as for Gandor, the mutated elemental force of its sister planets crushed it.
The inhabitants of this planet knew their fate and they knew it well for they would have to evacuate their beloved planet and head for Angon, the only inhabitable planet left of three.
They would evacuate in cargo ships at the beginning of the next rotation of their planet, but all their efforts were in vain. 3 of the 15 cargo ships would be hurled into Darkell in the initial blast, and in the second, Darkell and Angon, once twin planets, would be blasted a star distance away from each other by the implosion of Gandor.
The initial implosion of Gandor could be seen from the Selian cluster, 300 star distances away. Yellow and Orange light collided with Gold as the planet broke up.
It was an event that marked the beginning of a new era for the surviving Gandorians, for their lives would never be the same again.

600 years have passed, Darkell would have been burned to a crisp had it not had been for its elemental barrier it had gained from the war, it had inherited three suns and two moons which created vast wastelands of desert and a creature known only as the Sand Devil.
We join the last remaining settlement of Gandorians in the Morblis wasteland as it struggles to stay alive.
It is being attacked by Skeletal Warriors from the ground (Skeleton form of mutated and dead Darkellians), and Razor Wings attacking from the air (also un-dead and also in skeleton form, these monsters had razor sharp wings and huge fangs but could only be killed by immense power making them almost invincible). The other settlements were killed by giant monsters known as Daigators (four- armed Cyclops’s armed with 2 techno blades and 2 battle-axes).
Zibatsu, after the attack, became the sole survivor of his people on the planet Darkell.
Before all this began he was told to head towards the eastern moon, there he would find the eldest of his people, Landen, he was told that he was around 670 years of age meaning he was from the original survivors of Gandor.
As he rised from the rubble of flattened huts and mutilated bodies, he gazed at one of the suns, blinding light filled his eyes, green, red, blue and yellow followed behind him as he turned to face the river, the river that had led the skeletons to the last remaining settlement, his home and his family, but most importantly, his people.
As he stood on the lookout hill, wind fluttering his cape, he would set out to try and save what he could and would try to head for the planet Angon, a place almost like heaven as he was told, he would then meet a man named Landen in the limbo, Landen would tell him about their homeworld and Angon.
On his quest he carried a two-bit laser rifle, a five foot techno sabre, sensu beans that restored energy, a techno shield and wielded magic. He wore black martial arts like outfit, red cape, black boots and a red facemask.
Days had passed since he left his destroyed home, without anything to guide him he was lost in the vast desert that is Darkell. He had to find a creature he could ride and a place to rest, he struggled to keep his balance in the shifting sands of the east Morblis wasteland, he had no idea that he was being watched, watched by razor wings as they circled him almost silently getting closer with every step he took.
Finally one swooped down, and with one precision swoop sliced his left arm clean off. Nothing could be heard from Zibatsu, he fell to his knees with the remaining part of his arm griped in his right hand. Strangely his arm did not bleed, yet he felt as if he was slowly dying, it soon struck him that the razor wings were poisonous, and so without a second to waste he held up his right arm. Glowing white balls were being sucked into his hand and an orange ball of pure energy; pure burning energy engulfed it, then his arm, and then his entire body. It was this power which enabled him to repair his lost arm, but then, the second Razor Wing swept down aiming this time at his head, he muttered the words “Zanchukita rolliba zabotitu” and the ball of energy soon became a roaring beam of fire much hotter than the suns of Darkell, this beam headed for two of the five razor wings and instantly disintegrated them.
“I won’t be able to do that for a while” he said surprised at his awesome power. Another came screaming at him with a sound blast, which caught him off guard and knocked him flying. He jumped up then jumped on top of the giant creature knowing that the other two would come straight towards him, and at that moment he would jump up with his sabre and ram it through all three of them. It would have worked had his blade not had been charged with the energy before, the resulting energy fusion created a blast that not only set him and his blade flying but also combined the three razors into one giant super razor.
The earth shook as a huge ridge opened up steam and gas bombs were steaming out everywhere as a sand devil appeared,
these creatures were giant six headed mega monsters whose power he could not even begin to understand. Its skin was destructive enough to rip a hole in the planet, “ this is no longer the place for me to be, but how can I escape?.......... Of course!”
Without wasting any more time, he jumped into the air and spoke the sacred words only known by him and few other Gandorians, these words would warp him to an eternal limbo where he could not escape until he was called back, everything went black.

“Wake up Young man Wake up,”
“Where am I?”
“Don’t worry, I saw you warp out,”
“Who are you?”
“That, I do not know, it has become lost in the essence of time, no, in the essence of the limbo...”
“You mean I’m still inside the limbo?”
“Not just you, young man,”
“You as well !!? But then how can we leave this place? Are there others?”
“You ask too many questions, I cannot answer all of them at once, but you can call me Landen”
“ Your Landen? I have been searching for you for a long time,
can you tell me about our people?”
“Yes, but....”
“But what? Hey, are you there, Landen!!”
“You must be calm, I am trying to find where you were when you entered this place...... I‘ll only be gone a while... ”
“No, don’t leave me alone in this place!! Come back!!!”
“I cannot leave the limbo, but I can help you to,”
“You can get me out of here?”
“Be patient”
Silence followed as Zibatsu wandered hopelessly through the limbo.
“When did you come to be in here?”
“Long before your time Zibatsu, long before your time...”
“How do you know my name?”
“Our people came to this planet on the force of the destruction of our homeworld, I came here to save my own life but I found
I could not leave to my own accord.”
“How did are home world get destroyed?”
“There was a war between two of our neighbouring worlds, one is the one our people have been trying to live on for the past six hundred years, The other is Angon,”
“The world of ultimate peace?”
“Angon started the war, it destroyed our planet and this one.”
“Send me to Angon, if you can,”
“What do you hope to accomplice there?”
“Some of our people are there, I can get them to call you back.”
“I’m too old, I’d turn to dust. But I can send you there....”
“Make it so”
Unknown to Zibatsu, the man he just met was not Landen, but a man called Raven a ruthless –space- that had been attacked and captured by the Sand Devil and was trapped inside of its’ powerful mind.

He soon was in what looked like a green field, something he had never seen before. There was a structure in the distance, all he knew was that he’d head for there.

It was not long until he had encountered 3 Tagarons, two in front and one behind (fast, agile, and deadly to anything, common on Darkell, small two legged creatures with a long tail and reptilian skin, almost like a raptor). Zibatsu crouched down, a double backflip somersault ending with an axe kick to the head of the one behind him, instantly killing it.
A loud crack could be heard as his foot made contact with the reptilian skull, and then a thud as it slumped on the floor.
The other two backed away a few feet. The second one suddenly launched at Zibatsu but it was too slow, for in the blink of an eye he had ran behind the creature and already had his sword trained on it’s head. Two loud thuds could be heard, as the Tagaron's body and it’s head lay on the grassy field, covered in blood. The last Tagaron was smart; it made a run for it and got away safely.
Zibatsu took a deep breath and replaced his sword, “and I said I wouldn’t get it messy, oh well,” he would have continued onward if he hadn’t of noticed that the more he travelled towards the town, the further away it got from him. He sat down to think, “ I should contact Landen, maybe he could help?”.
The good thing was that leaving his body for a brief minute or two didn’t matter, he’d use his energy gathering technique to render himself invisible from his surroundings.
“Hey, Landen! Can you hear me?” His voice echoed through the void of nothingness,

obi
03-31-2002, 04:23 PM
“Loud and clear,”
“I need your help, where am I?”
There was no reply, “Landen, are you there?”
“Inside of the Sand Devil”
“What do you mean?”
“Ha ha ha ha ha, Pathetic fool, ha ha ha ha....” The figure of Landen slowly disappears and his laughter echoed through the void,
“Who are you and where am I!!?”
“Poor fool, you don’t even know where you are ha ha ha ....”
“Answer me!!”
“Ha ha ha ha ha... you fell for it, and now your in its’ trap...”
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t remember? You’re even more pathetic than I thought, ha ha ha ha ha....”
“Who are you?”
“Pity your going to die though....”
“Who are you!!?”
“I am known as Raven, the Sand Devil took my soul, just as it is going to take yours. You never made it to the limbo, you were too slow, and now every second you spend here, the weaker you get.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.........”

Zibatsu fell to his knees in pain,
“Do you feel it!” Screamed Raven
It was now that he had realised the true power of the sand devil. He had to escape this thing; he had to escape before he died.
He reached for his sword, but it was not there, in fact none of his items were there. He was not there physically, he was there mentally, and he’d have to win this one with his mind.
He would have to use all the magic left inside him, all the energy that he had gathered in the battle with the razors.
He could now fully use his elemental powers, fire, ice, thunder and water, but the real challenge was how he was going to defeat a creature such as the sand devil, its powers simply dwarf his own and it’s ten time bigger that him in its spiritual form.
If he could distract it, then he might be able to warp to the real limbo.
“Raven!...... How do I get out of here?!”
“Fool, you cannot escape.”
“I beg to differ.”
He then held up his hand and clenched it into a fist, he held it a little back from his head and forced and energy ball much bigger than himself and repeated, “How do I get out of here?!!”
“Are you threatening me?” (Under his breath) “Ha ha ha the poor fool thinks he can beat me,” “So, you want out eh? Well your going to have to beat me to survive.”
Zibatsu threw his energy ball at Raven, a huge blast and then a vast cloud of smoke appeared from where the ball had made contact.
“Your going to have to be faster than that!!” His voice echoed as he stepped out of the clouds, “Now have some real power! YYAAA!” Three bolts hurled towards Zibatsu at lightning speeds, he narrowly missed the first one but was caught off guard by the other two as he attempted a backflip, he fell to the floor with a loud thud. “Did you enjoy that? Well, here comes another one.” Three more bolts hurled through the air but this time all three hit their target. An explosion far greater that the last followed, Raven relised that he had not actually hit his target but a decoy, “So, teleportation is your game, well eat this!!” Raven let lose more bolts and beams all homing on Zibatsu's position. He needed to act fast, he leapt up and again teleported but this time behind Raven. All the beams and bolts followed him and headed straight for Raven. Raven didn’t move at all; or at least you couldn’t see him, they all either passed him or went straight through him as if he wasn’t there.
“Unreal.” Zibatsu stared in disbelief.
“Don’t try and turn my magic against me, it’s near impossible.”
“They should have fried you!”
“Pathetic.”
Silence followed as Zibatsu slowly realised he could not win,
“His power is far greater than mine, yet I cannot turn it against him.”
He though in his mind. As Raven’s cackling laughter rattled through the void, Zibatsu had a thought, if he could get Raven to think that he’d been hit, then he could get close enough to blast him but it was very dangerous that he might be hit too badly.


The End so far, what ya think?



EDIT - GHAAAAAAAA!
It wn't let me select a custom av! I put in the http-link and it selects the LINK avatar! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

mrz84
03-31-2002, 05:48 PM
cool. congrats on your accomplishment obi of 1k posts. :kawaii: nice story, too. :kawaii: (i read your pm and i was glad i read the story. very nice.) :kawaii:

Breaker
03-31-2002, 05:52 PM
Originally posted by obi

EDIT - GHAAAAAAAA!
It wn't let me select a custom av! I put in the http-link and it selects the LINK avatar! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I personally thought the story was garbage, but to answer your dilema...you have to actually select "use custom avatar" in order for it to recognize it.

obi
04-01-2002, 05:39 PM
Nah, I didn't know that the 'use custom avatar' button resets when you enter in data.


Any one got any Ideas for me to carry it on?
What parts do you think are 'garbage' Breaker?